Cool Gadgets and Things ...

The title of this flick is misleading. It should be "The Sucker"

OK. I have to admit. I was THE SUCKER. I bought this DVD, so I can watch it with my family tonight (yesterday). My Netflix DVDs were stale and I can not convince my wife to rent some thing via AppleTV even so it is SO MUCH CHEAPER ( she starts: but if we will like it and want to watch again and bla bla bla - fact is most movies suck SO MUCH you are taking ZERO risk) , but ... I deserve it :-)

Anyway... Here is review and I do not care if I spoil it for you : do not watch it!

Actually, if you want to check how bad kids flick can suck, check it out on Netflix or add it to your hall of sucking fame here

:

Note: it should be a book. Normally, watching movie before reading book is safe, but not in this case. I think book should just blow !

Ok... So, this young fella ... he likes his iPod and he probably smoke some dope.

Note: I have no idea about dope. All I know is from Hollywood. I think this one show the real dope users and is a very nice flick ( stupid and funny):




He is a very marketable type, much more so compare to Harry Potter: this dude is blond, sweet boy ( reminds Home Alone), but he got problems with his puberty or some thing. One would assume that such a cool dude will never have any problem to score, but he probably very heavy on his iPod and weed or some things. Despite his friends wing-man support he fails to nail a hot chick on the bus ( older one , mind you). So his bro nails her and make laugh out of him. He he he. That piss young dude a lot and he want to kill him or some thing.

Thinking about that again, it may be a heavier staff, LCD ?




But the movie is not about that ( it will not suck I guess that much if it would) ... it is about boys problems with his own head. He start seeing things and some drunk old dudes say that he is special. The village doctor is horse riding pervert and fart out a very fat black smoke or so boy see :-) Boy see a lot. He have to get medical attention or some thing. But he believes that he is special, the one, like Neo. At first he do not want to believe this shit,but voices in his head and old drunken dudes convince him eventually.


Mind you : this flick could make a fine parody on so much more good movies: you can see copy/paste from Beautiful Mind, Matrix - when two law enforcement dudes take him in custody and turns to monsters and birds - is it Steven King or last installation of Resident Evil ? Dunno ... So, this birds hunt him, he see rotating spirals and his own bro try to cut his trout. Nice family !!! I say ! But ... this is "Dove Foundation": you will not see any blood here. It is all shopped off. People not get killed: they sucked in some kind of dark vortex cloud or inside glass ball. Happy X-Mass!!! Hey !


Global warming retaliates and dark and cold come to this village. Some how they show Statue of Liberty: yezzz!!! How many movies like to mock it and destroy, This one too.


Well.. coolest moment is when they come to the past and he try to steal shield from Viking. Mind you : still no blood in fight there and Viking mainly trough each other, but very very high. So this dude try to trade his CASIO G-Shock watch! And ... it works!!! YEAAAAH!!!! To balance past and future I guess that bring some small pussy from the past. Viking probably swim to Japan in this bought to establish CASIO INC or some thing :-) Rulez!!!

Yeah and all this secret objects look like cheap shit. Not very creative. Also, one form Viking shield do fit like spider doll from Night Watch - get out the hole like a spider. :-) I guess same dudes do special effects.

To make it suck even more they add Science : Physic and black holes and light/dark balance. Such crap ... Well... I prefer space ships doing noise in vacuum any day! And even jumping bus in Speed is so much more fun, well

But the real puzzle is why 6? I think it is between "Fifth element" - boy himself is last key and "Seven sins" :-) Or it is just number of sides of cube ? Hm...

The only lesson from this: if you see "FAMILY APPROVED" "Heartland Award" "Kids First" logo: run away. It will SUCK BIG BIG BIG way :-)

This movie get FILE SUCKS STARTS. ( I will give 6, but it is max )

Here is the lost of movies that do it better:

1) Best police ( FBI?) integration's and correct behavior during such ( not that it will help you anyway, unless you are THE ONE :-) ):



2) About puberty and fire and anger control: This one simple the best :-)




3) About glass balls and more practical use of it:



4) About problems with your head: This one simply rocks!




Note: I do not know where the idea of rotating spirals is from. Help me here :-)

If you spot some other ideas that other implemented better : write in comments !

Labels: The Seeker. Review.